Just call me Morty, but my name is Sally!

Ok, what is going on with my body? I swear I’m turning into an old man, but I’m a middle aged woman! WTH??? I have hair growing in weird places. Like hair coming out of my nose, black hair, and I’m blonde! I have more pubic hair growing down the back of my legs than in my pubic area. Is it trying to escape? Is it migrating towards my feet? Don’t get me started on the hair on my face? If I didn’t shave it off, I’d be a dead ringer for Grizzly Adams.

I know your body changes when you go through menopause (which I’ve been in for five years), but this is ridiculous. Don’t get me wrong, I like not having periods anymore. I would take them back in a heartbeat to not have all of this extra hair. Oh, and did I mention that the hair on my head would be going south if it wasn’t for the wonder elixir Rogaine? I’m just a middle aged hot mess!

I exercise five days a week, for an hour at a time just to maintain my weight. Do you think my legs might be a bit toned after walking 15 miles a week? Oh hell no! I have lost all of the muscle tone in my body. My shorts go to my knees and my shirts stop at my elbows. I know I should lift weights to firm up, but who has time after exercising an hour a day five times a week.

If anyone can suggest a good workout to firm up, I would really appreciate it. Now if you will excuse me while I go and trim my nose hair, and shave the back of my thighs! Good grief!

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3 thoughts on “Just call me Morty, but my name is Sally!

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