Menopause: We need to talk

Christie BrinkleyWe’ve been seeing each other for seven years now.  I think it’s time for you to go, I mean really, get the hell out of my life.  I could have easily dealt with having a period for the rest of my life.  It only would be for a few days a month anyway.  All of the changes you have put me through, just drop freaking dead!

The changes you have made to my body are unforgiveable.  I use to have the wonderful ten inch waist to hip ratio. That is where your hips are ten inches larger than your waist.  I use to have an hour glass figure.  Now it’s more like an apple.

I exercise five days a week, for almost an hour each time.  Do you think it makes much of a difference?  Um no.  I use to have some muscle tone, now I have the dreaded old person wrinkly skin. Thank god, I live in a cold climate and I can be covered up most of the time.

Forget about doing hormone replacement, too dangerous given my family history.  I don’t have hot flashes anymore, but sleeping without taking meds, ain’t happening.  The meds I take to sleep will probably make me lose my mind. Great!

People say, but you don’t have to worry about getting pregnant now.  I didn’t worry before, because I was on birth control for years.  I only went off of it because my doctor made me.

The good thing about puberty is you know when it’s over.  So far I haven’t gotten an end date for this menopause crap.   Nobody likes to talk about it.  You men don’t know how easy you have it.  You might have to deal with a little erectile dysfunction or baldness.  Hell, you just take a little pill and shave your head. Oh, then get yourself a much younger woman.

As I sit here looking at a 62 year old Christie Brinkley on the cover of the magazine telling me about her “young-forever diet”, I pretty much want to puke.  She looks amazing at 62, but she was also a former super model.  She has amazing hair, which she admits to using hair extensions.  Yeah, I tried hair extensions, unfortunately you could tell.  Lucky for me I have a great collection of baseball caps.

The good thing about menopause?? I don’t have a flipping clue, but if you know please clue me in.


Too old to play the drums???

I’ve decided at the ripe old age of 56 that I am going to teach myself how to play the drums.  You see we just bought a drum set for our 16 year old son’s recent birthday.  I played acoustic guitar a bit when I was in high school. I had hoped to be able to play an electric guitar by the time I was 50, but life happened.  Now my son, who has taught himself how to play guitar, is teaching himself how to play the drums. I would learn how to play guitar now, but then I would have to have short fingernails, and that ain’t happening.

Maybe if I watch enough YouTube videos, I’ll be able to play by the time I’m 60! It worked for me Drum playing granny 6-3-15for learning how to contour my face.  Hmmm, we’ll just have to wait and see.

Another wonderful use for Argan oil!

Argan oil face_skin 3-9-15I used a few drops on my face right after I showered.   After about ten minutes, I put on my 30 SPF moisturizer as usual.  Then my liquid foundation. OMG!  My skin looked amazing.  I think the argan oil works better than a primer.  Every time I went to the bathroom today, (which is a lot because I have a bladder the size of a walnut) I couldn’t get over how good my skin looked.  My skin looked nice and dewy up until I took my make up off a little while ago.  I put my foundation on at 7 am, and took it off at 8 pm.  I also picked up some Almay stick concealer at the dollar store.  I don’t normally use stick concealer because it’s too heavy. Guess what? This stuff is great!  It worked really well under my eyes and around my nose.  It especially worked on the dent in my forehead.  Score one for Stacy!

Happy Monday!



So what is up with Charlotte Tilbury??

I just got my March 2015 issue of Allure magazine, and was reading an article called “The Influencers”.  The first person profiled was Charlotte Tilbury, makeup artist of the moment. I enjoyed her story but was a bit put off by her “never being seen without makeup” comments.

I totally get that, as I look like a corpse without makeup, but I’m sure as hell not going to wear it to bed.   She said “I never go without makeup-ever”.  And that “I only take it off at night when the bathroom door is locked. Then I put it right back on and sleep in it.”

What!!?!?!?!?  I’ve been reading Allure for years, and really haven’t come across such a stupid statement.  You never want to wear your makeup to bed, especially not eye makeup.  That is the quickest way to get an eye infection.

My older (dumber) sister slept in her makeup for years.  I would always get after her about it. She was too lazy to wash her face, and thought that “well my mom has great skin, so I will too”.  Guess what dumbass sister, your skin looks like crap now smudge 2-26-15and you permanently jacked up your eyes.  My sister lives in a different state, so I didn’t see her real often.  She finally admitted some years ago that her tear ducts were permanently damaged and she had to use some sort of silicone inserts in her eyes. Yes, it was caused by years of sleeping in her mascara.

Charlotte is no spring chicken so she should know better.  I hope impressionable young woman don’t take her “never go without makeup” to heart.


Who went into my closet and shrunk all of my shorts?!?!??!

Wedding photo 1995Winter sucks.  Nothing new there.  In anticipation of our upcoming vacation out west, I tried on some of my shorts. Oh crap!  I’ve gained a few pounds over the winter, and now all of my summer clothes are too tight.  I just can’t seem to get motivated to exercise.

I was doing so well.  I lost 57 pounds five years ago, after having been overweight most of my adult life.  I gained 20 pounds back, but have maintained my weight for four years.  It is so hard to lose weight when you get older. One thing for sure, I will never be skinny, and that’s okay with me.  When you get too thin when you are older, your face gets really wrinkled. Not a look I’m going for.

One thing I would like to add for my younger followers: Don’t worry about being a bit thick. I was about 30 pounds overweight for many years, and that didn’t keep me from dating good looking guys.  It’s really all about how you carry yourself and your personality.

I married a handsome man eight years younger than me, and we are celebrating our 20th wedding anniversary this year.  It’s all about attitude!

Here’s me and my handsome hubby on our wedding day twenty years ago.

Okay, how is this even possible???

As a middle aged woman, I’ve been watching my weight pretty much my whole life.  I recently came across a journal from when I was in high school.  I’ve been keeping track of my measurements forever.  Well I found some measurements from when I was a senior, which was a bazillion years ago. Anywho, I now weigh at least 50 pounds more than I did when I was that age, but my thighs are the same size.  How is that even possible??? Of course everything else got bigger, but apparently not my legs.  My “girls” grew quite a bit since then, but jesus, it’s not like they are stripper size or anything.  I was telling some of my friends about it and one of the gals asked what I did for exercise.  I walk about 15 miles a week on a treadmill. She said that was it, well why isn’t everything else smaller?? Damn you to hell menopause!

Physicians Formula Touch of Glow Nude Wear Foundation-Review

This foundation is brand new and I love it.  I’m always on the lookout for a great foundation.  I’ve been nursing a sample of Clinique Even Better liquid, only wearing it on special occasions because I didn’t want to fork over $27 for foundation.  The new Physicians Formula Nude Wear is better than the Clinique Even Better and only costs $14.99 at Ulta. There was a buy one get one 50% off sale and I used my rewards points along with an Ulta coupon and only paid $8.69.

It’s one ounce and comes with a quality brush to apply. I got Light and the color matches perfectly with my fair complexion. The coverage is light but covers well. It imparts a dewy glow that my mature skin loves. I used a little loose powder on my cheeks, and I was good to go. You only use one drop on the brush and it easily covers your entire face. The label says “weightless fluid foundation dresses skin in an illuminating veil of radiance delivering just the right amount of coverage, while remaining virtually undetectable on the skin” True, true and more true.

The foundation does not have an SPF, which is surprising for Physicians Formula. But I always wear a 30 SPF in my moisturizer anyway.

If you are looking for a great high end type liquid foundation, the Nude Wear Touch of Glow will be your skin’s new best friend.



Physicians Formula Nude Wear Touch of Glow Foundation-Light 2-8-15

Will a dent come out of your head???

About two months ago I dented my forehead.  I was in a hurry and whacked my head on my car door. I do believe I saw some stars, and it hurt like a mother effer.  Surprisingly it didn’t bleed, and I thought for sure I would have a gusher on my hands.  No bump just a small bruise for a few days and a red line.

I didn’t notice the dent until I saw a photo of myself recently. I wear glasses and have really poor vision. But jesus, a dent in my head??? It looks like someone pressed their finger down and it stayed that way. I look like I got into a bar fight, and got the crap beat out of me. I know scars add character, but I do believe I have filled my quotient.

Should I be worried? I’ve never had a dent before.  Is this what it truly means to be old?? Hell, I’m only 56, and was dent free prior to this.  Sure I have some pox marks on my forehead from when I had chicken pox as a kid, but I wear bangs so you really can’t see them.  But this dent is huge. WTF!?!?!?!

If anyone knows of how I can get rid of it, please let me know. Maybe I could try some Silly Putty as filler. Dented forehead 2-5-15 Do they make flesh colored spackle?

NYX Tinted Brow Mascara Blonde-Review

This a great eyebrow color if you have light eyebrows like me.  I’ve tried pencils and powders in the past, but was starting to veer off into Joan Crawford land. Not a good look for a middle aged woman.  My mom use to get her eyebrows dyed dark brown. They looked ridiculous as she was a red head, plus she was the neighborhood Avon lady so she should have known better.


This isNYX Tinted Brow Mascara 1-4-15.jpg-1 a very natural looking color and stays on all day.  I wear glasses so I’m fairly lazy when it comes to my brows.  I should probably tweeze more, but I really don’t care.  Besides I have poor vision and I can barely see to put make up on. I bought at where else- Ulta for $6.99, but I had a store coupon so it was less than $6!

Thanks Dad-You have forever changed my outlook on life

Today is my birthday; I am 56, the same age my dad was when he died suddenly 38 years ago. He died a week before I graduated from high school.  My parents were divorced when dad died, and we weren’t really close.   I ran into a gentleman who had known my dad for many years, he shared some great stories.  He was telling me about my dad’s great sense of humor, which I never really saw.  My folks were unhappy for many years, and waited until I was 16 before they divorced.

I’m sad that I never really got to know my dad when I became an adult. I was in my senior year of high school and was too busy for him. I recently came across a journal I kept from 1977.  It was a great trip down memory lane.  Lots of fun times, but then I came across the day my dad died, May 6, 1977. That entry was probably the most legible entry in my entire journal.  My handwriting is abysmal and I can barely read it myself.  After I read the daily entries for the next week after my dad died, I had an epiphany.  Life is too damn short to be anything but happy.

I’ve been having my own internal pity party for years.  I’ve tried to not be a complainer, but life just throws curve balls at me all the time.  I use to be a really fun person, but losing a loved one to a drunk driver 12 years ago changed that. I’m also have chronic back pain which doesn’t help.

After reading about my dad, I have come to the realization that nothing is a given.  We never know when our number is going to be up.  My dad was the same age as me when he died of a heart attack.

I have vowed to not be that negative complainer anymore. You just have to deal with whatever hardships life throws at you and go forward.  You and you alone are the only person who can change your life.