Me either! But I always knew she was amazing!
Mrs. Smith complained to her doctor that her husband had lost all interest in sex. The doctor gave her an experimental pill, instructing her to crush it in his drink when they had dinner. When she came back the next time. He asked her how it worked.
“Oh just great! Before we even finished dinner, he swept all the dishes off the table breaking them, ripped my clothes off, and ravished me right there on the table. It was amazing!”
“Oh no!” said the doctor. “That’s way too strong. The foundation will pay all the damages!”
“Don’t bother.” said Mrs. Smith. “We’re never going back to that restaurant anyway.”
One day at the entrance to heaven, St. Peter saw a New York street gang.
walk up to the Pearly Gates. This being a first, St. Peter ran to God and said, “God,
there are some evil, thieving New Yorkers at the Pearly Gates. What do I do?”.
God replied, “Just do what you normally do with that type. Re-direct them down to hell.”
St. Peter went back to carry out the order and all of a sudden he comes running back yelling “God, God, they’re gone, they’re gone!”
“Who, the New Yorkers?”.
“No, the Pearly Gates.”